This Week I Have Been Mostly Playing…
Untitled Goose Game on Nintendo Switch
I was surprised to realise I have played very few games with a non anthropological animal as the main protagonist. Last years Fe springs to mind, a peculiar and buggy semi indie title from Zoink Games based around a kind of singing Fox? It was alright but didn't blow me away. The biggest in terms of sales was Goat Simulator which while crazy and fun but so arcadey. How about something more realistic?
House House answer that call. Their first title ‘Push Me Pull You’ was a weird sports game with two humans joined at the waist as some freakish snake trying to gain control of a ball. Obviously, after that you need to make a game based around a goose. Untitled Goose Game was part of a Nindie Showcase in the summer of 2018. Basically a video showing footage of upcoming games to the Switch. It was in the middle and counted equally to the rest. But somehow it blew up completely and every Nintendo fanboy was talking about it!
So here we are, 13 months later and it finally drops.The premise is simple, you play a goose who wanders around a little English village causing mischief for its inhabitants. Stealing items, breaking things, locking people in garages. If it was 2005 it would get an ASBO.
I began by talking about realism and there are two things that make me super happy when controlling said goose. Walking around it has the best wet slapping noise as each foot hits the ground, it’s a gorgeous sound that can’t really give it justice in mere words. The other part of the walk is the waddle, with the slow side to side of the tale as it wanders rhythmically around.
They have fucking nailed the movement and noises of a Goose. Simple task you may think but it is very very impressive. It’s not only the waddle, with its chest puffed out and head held high. The most arrogant avian you will ever see! It makes me laugh every time I jump back into this game.
That realism is juxtaposed by the ridiculousness of the mayhem you deliberately cause. In each area you are giving a checklist of things you need to do, like stealing a radio or getting the gardener wet. The game never actually tells you how to do any of its objectives but after a few minutes interacting with items you can eventually suss it out. A lot are just plain obvious but stray into ridiculous, like getting the Goose on TV. They are interesting puzzles and I am happy to admit there are a few I still need to ponder. Brilliantly even more are added once you complete this relatively short game.
The controls are naturally limited (you are just a goose) so you can walk, sprint, pick things up, spread your wings and honk. Most humans are quicker than you (you can’t fly but you can swim) so they can catch up and shoo you away making you drop any item you have stolen. This is where the challenge lies and it actually makes this a stealth game. Poking your head up from in a bush and then ducking when a person walks by is hilarious. It even has a box to hide in! Wait, spoilers…
Graphically I really like it, all nice and sharp. Very colourful and totally evokes the humble English Village that its set in. The British motorway signs on the pause menu are a very nice touch. It’s not graphical but I do love the use of ‘Loo roll’ in the list but that’s just me. The humans lack fine details on their faces but its not a deal breaker. What is the winning touch is the music, a brilliant plonky piano tune that drops in and out of the action as you play along. Accompanies the game very well.
After all that we do actually need to spend a moment talking about what he is. Sure he is an annoying goose but as his only drive is to fuck things up it needs something more. While we are at it, it's also a good chance to finally define some words for these chaotic and angry times.
A good place to start would be dickhead but that is more idiocy by accident than intent. Twat should only be used in some form of professional capacity. We could go nuclear and say Cunt but that should be explicitly saved for those currently ruling over the US and UK. Wanker being a thoroughly British insult almost fits the bill but it’s kind of throw away now. Got to say it, the only option is prick. An intentional, awful being with no redeeming features. So here is my pitch to get the game renamed Goose Prick. (Let’s hope it catches on).
Aside from the random name, they have made here is a gem of a game. It’s not very long but that seems pretty standard for this type of game. You can walk around the whole village once you have unlocked it with zero loading screens so let’s call it succinct rather than short. I had fun playing on my own but it’s even better to show friends. They will not have seen anything like. It’s execution is excellent but I must applaud just how left field this game is! Now where has that prick gotten to?
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