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Gaming Guide for Self-isolation

Updated: Mar 17, 2020

For many of us in the UK the immense scale and impact of Covid19 is starting to become clear. Sure it is scary and it’s barely just begun. Yes it is incredibly serious with an increasing death rate making sombre reading. It’s not fun.


As this is still right at the beginning of months of nail biting it's maybe time for us gamers to settle in and see what we can do. Self isolating for a week, let alone two is a huge ask and will take careful planning if you are to make it through with your sanity. Easter is still many weeks away. So from one self isolationist to another, here's how to game properly in the circumstances:


No more excuses, I must finish the Witcher 3!

Plan for the Long Haul

It may sound like I am being over dramatic but for a man who finishes at 4pm and is no longer commuting that frees up 6 whole hours a day to fill. That’s 30 hours a week! If they (finally) decide to shut most entertainment places such as museums and cinemas, it's going to leave even more free time on weekends.


So start by picking one of those huge games that you have never got round to starting. Maybe try out Crusader Kings II or Stellaris on PC? How about two weeks worth of JRPG magic with Ni No Kuni or Octopath Traveller? There’s no excuse to not finish the Witcher 3, what the hell else are you going to do? Pick a few and work your way through them.


Stay calm

I know it feels like the end of the world but it’s not. Things are a bit crazy but they will eventually calm down. I know people are stockpiling but don’t panic! They are not going to run out of copies of Doom Eternal or Animal Crossing: New Horizons. In fact if you are a normal gamer you probably have at least a dozen unplayed games kicking around at home. Rather than worry, pick up and play one of these from your library. Who knew having 602 steam games would pay off in the end?


Ugh so many games, where to start!?

If you are gradually getting more nervous about the situation, start playing something addictive. And I mean really addictive. Start a new farm on Stardew Valley. Fire up a Football Manager save when you are 15 games from glory. Pick the thing you cannot tear yourself away from and play the hell out of it. You worries will melt away…. (for a limited time)


Avoid the virus

In the madness that ensues you manage to complete all of your games (scientifically impossible) then you have a dilemma. Even if you are at home you will want to avoid the virus at all costs. DO NOT order any games to be delivered either by the post or by a kind friend. It will certainly be riddled with germs. Buy digital. The safest way to keep you and your loved ones up to date with the latest releases.


Don't share

We all have our favourite controllers at home. You know the ‘special’ white PS4 pro controller. The one you want to play with every time, not the crappy old black one you share with everyone. It sounds fair enough right? Hell I won’t let any of you lot play my lovely Switch Lite. Now you have an ample excuse. It’s for hygiene reasons, not out of selfishness. Look I am not a dick, I just care for your health. So step away from the console!


La Seta! LA SETA!!!!!

Avoid local coop

This one should make perfect sense, don’t invite friends round to play games on your sofa, you don’t know what they are bringing with the beers. But that’s not the main concern. Eventually being locked up with your loved ones will cause you all to fall out in a major way. This will be over something important like how the washing is done or who took the bin out last. Don’t speed up this inevitibility by playing a stupid round of Overcooked and throwing controllers at each other. Divorce over an imaginary mushroom is terrible. Best make it about a real one.


Play Online

You are probably not going to see any friends until the summer now. Best get online to stay in contact. Even if you forget their faces at least you will have a lot of in jokes for the next time you are allowed down the pub. If they are ‘busy’ (literally impossible) then this is an amazing chance to make new friends from all over the world. In fact with everyone at home you shall be able to go back and play all those online titles that were basically dead. Elder Scrolls Online anyone?


Play Offline

Though playing online is the best plan it is inevitable that the whole service goes down due to such an increase of demand. Crashes are already happening so back to single games with you. I know it’s sad but it’s for the best. Single player experiences are the best and that’s a true story. Deal with it.


Come on, who doesn't want to win the Opening Mexican League

Play Sports titles

Obviously a very unimportant consequence of all this is the fact that most major sports and events have been put on hold. It will take a few weeks for it to start affecting people. Man those summers with no World Cup or Euros are fucking long. This is going to be even worse! Get ahead of the game. Fire up FIFA and finish the league season. Download that old copy of NFL17 and rig the hell out of the draft system. If all else fails get on Twitch and pretend all the matches are real….


What a shiny Sobble!

Go big and bright!

If everything is a bit rubbish you need some cheer in your life, why not pick something creative to make! Look I know you love Fallout 3 as much as I do but let's avoid bringing the end of the world into your living room. Escapism is a must! Go into Minecraft and start your own farm on a cloud. Carry some rare freight across the universe in No Man’s Sky and wave at the space pirates. Finally get that shiny starter like yours truly! Go do something amazing.


 

And with all that you should be properly prepared for the coming weeks. It’s going to be tough but I believe in all of you. Remember, ignoring your loved ones keeps them safe. Completing all those games is a noble aim. Good luck!

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